


the bright side of hurt is coming around

by hunterwho



Series: Musicstuck [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: (tags are for the whole fic), Aseuxal Roxy, F/F, F/M, Humanstuck, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Inspired by Music, Sadstuck (?), Sober Roxy Lalonde, Trauma, it's probably not what you think it is, try it you'll like it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 21:51:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9923660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunterwho/pseuds/hunterwho
Summary: roxy didn't know what it was like to love until she met a lovely girl with green eyes and blonde hair





	

**Author's Note:**

> THERE'S HEAVY IMPLIED SEXUAL ABUSE IN HERE OK. Reminder to everyone that reads this- if she says no, it's rape. If she doesn't give explicit consent, it's rape. If she's under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or other mind-altering substances, IT IS RAPE AND IT IS ILLEGAL. (This goes for guys as well- just don't abuse anyone and you'll be fine, ok?) I don't condone the actions of John in this, and also this is a very OOC John, he would never do this (of course). Thank you, this has been a PSA, enjoy.

Tear our world apart  
If we'd felt this from the start  
I'd be the queen of your heart  
The queen of your heart

We built our house of cards  
But it feels like it's still ours  
Can I be the queen of your heart?  
The queen of your heart  
-Queen Of Your Heart, by Tut Tut Child

Roxy had known, even from the first time she saw Callie.  
She’d known, through her hazy mind (addled by various alcoholic drinks all too often), that this was her girlfriend.  
But she’d pushed the feeling away, bottled it up in her drinks and instead chose to fall for her best friend John, John with bright blue eyes that sparkled when he smiled or was that just the vodka talking? Wasn’t it always the vodka? Had it ever been otherwise? Had there been any part of her that would have fallen for him sober? Roxy wondered this, sometimes, as she fell asleep by John’s side, the moon shining through the shutters of his apartment window.  
But John was her life now. Her lifeline, her everything. He was the one that rubbed her back and spoke kindly to her after she came home drunk at three in the morning, fresh from the news that she’d just been kicked out of art school. He was the one that was always there for her. So why did it still tear her apart?  
Why did she still doubt?  
Why did she still have to stop herself from getting nauseous when he turned to her, in bed, at night, and suggested sex? Why did she hate herself afterwards, and why did she stagger to the bathroom and shower until she felt a bit more clean?  
If John was her perfect dream boy, why did she feel like he was using her?

A few weeks later, Roxy’s head was clearer, and she saw things for what they were.  
A few of her friends from art school (art school, weeks back? months? why did they still care?) had staged an intervention. Rose, Jade, and Jane had taken her to Jane’s house, where there was no alcohol. They’d helped her through her seemingly unending hangover, and once it was over, made sure that she didn’t get drunk again.  
And one night, it all came out.  
Roxy was in the shower, getting ready for bed as usual at Jane’s house, and she broke down crying. Jane rushed in to ask what was wrong, and Roxy replied through sobs that John had been abusing her- keeping her drunk so he could abuse her, use her, keep her. If not for the girls, she would have stayed there, with John and the vodka and the long nights, she sobbed. Jane held her, comforted her, and got her a cup of tea.  
Roxy went back to art school, having convinced admissions (with the aid of Jane, Rose, and Jade) that she wouldn’t show up drunk again.  
And she walked into Advanced 3-D Drawing Techniques, sober for the first time since the class started, and saw Calliope.  
Her messy blonde hair was pulled into a beanie as she absentmindedly doodled in her drawing notebook, and Roxy had to talk to her.  
They went out for lunch after a week, simply as friends, and realized that they had a lot to talk about- they were both interested in fantasy movies, specifically, and of course they had to go see the new one that everyone had been talking about! And why not grab dinner afterwards, that would be the nice thing to do, the theater has a great pizza place right near there!  
And that was how they ended up holding hands and how Roxy’s heart was stopping because Calliope was kissing her sweetly, gently, in a corner booth at a pizza parlor.  
Roxy had been sober for one month, and she had a girlfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading through this piece of trash :) Comments and kudos are always appreciated if possible, that would be awesome, thanks!


End file.
